Persuasion

Elder Dale G. Renlund explained that God’s respect for our agency is directly related to His objectives for us:

Our Heavenly Father’s goal in parenting is not to have His children do what is right; it is to have His children choose to do what is right and ultimately become like Him. If He simply wanted us to be obedient, He would use immediate rewards and punishments to influence our behaviors.

But God is not interested in His children just becoming trained and obedient “pets” who will not chew on His slippers in the celestial living room. No, God wants His children to grow up spiritually and join Him in the family business.

“Choose You This Day,” October 2018 general conference

If our goal in raising children and leading other people is aligned with God’s will, then it follows that we will also lead with persuasion, not coercion. As God explained to Joseph Smith in Liberty Jail:

No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood [based only on a position of authority], only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;

By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile.

Doctrine and Covenants 121:41-42

A few observations about this counsel:

1. Persuasion takes longer than coercion and therefore requires patience. “By long forbearing is a prince persuaded” (Proverbs 25:15). It’s time-consuming but durable.
2. Persuasion requires gentle and humble delivery. “Anger never persuades. Hostility builds no one” (Russell M. Nelson, “Peacemakers Needed,” April 2023 general conference). We need to choose our words wisely, searching for non-combative ways to make our points.
3. Persuasion is based on knowledge. Therefore persuaders are educators. They point people to verifiable facts and encourage them to draw wise conclusions and act on true principles they have learned for themselves. (See Joseph Smith—History 1:20.)

Leading by persuasion does not mean “anything goes.” The Lord clarified that a righteous leader will “[reprove] betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost” (Doctrine and Covenants 121:43). Betimes means both “occasionally” and “early.” It’s usually best to get ahead of a problem; a gentle nudge early on can prevent a more painful collision later. My professor Chauncey Riddle taught that “sharpness” in this passage means “clarity,” not “harshness.” Reproofs should be fact-based, not emotional: intended to educate, not to punish.

Nephi labored diligently “to persuade [his] children to believe in Christ” (2 Nephi 25:23). Mormon declared, “I would that I could persuade all ye ends of the earth to repent” (Mormon 3:22). Persuasion is hard and sometimes frustrating work, but it is the work of a true disciple of Jesus Christ. He said, “Whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do good is of me” (Ether 4:12; see also Moroni 7:16).

Today, I will strive to persuade others to do good. I will communicate with increased patience and gentleness. I will share true facts and principles with clarity, trusting others to assimilate and act upon them over time. I will remember that the goal is not perfect behavior but growth toward a godlike character.