At the temple in Bountiful, the Savior made clear His position on our interpersonal interactions. As He instructed His newly called twelve disciples about how to baptize, He said, “There shall be no disputations among you” (3 Nephi 11:22). Shortly after, He reemphasized this point:
There shall be no disputations among you, as there have hitherto been; neither shall there be disputations among you concerning the points of my doctrine, as there have hitherto been.
For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.
Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away.
3 Nephi 11:28-30
Later that day, as He instructed them about being inclusive in worship services, He said:
I give you these commandments because of the disputations which have been among you. And blessed are ye if ye have no disputations among you.
3 Nephi 18:34
After His ministry was over, He visited the twelve disciples to answer a question about the name of the church. The first part of His answer wasn’t about the question itself, but about the way people had been discussing the question. “Why is it that the people should murmur and dispute because of this thing?” He asked (3 Nephi 27:4).
These people heard the message and followed the Savior’s counsel. Within a couple of years, Mormon tells us:
There were no contentions and disputations among them, and every man did deal justly one with another. …
There was no contention in the land, because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people. …
And surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God. …
And how blessed were they! For the Lord did bless them in all their doings;… and there was no contention in all the land.
4 Nephi 1:2, 15, 17-18
Their happiness and prosperity was a consequence of overcoming the human tendency to argue and fight with one another.
President Dallin H. Oaks recently observed:
This is a time of many harsh and hurtful words in public communications and sometimes even in our families. Sharp differences on issues of public policy often result in actions of hostility—even hatred—in public and personal relationships. This atmosphere of enmity sometimes even paralyzes capacities for lawmaking on matters of importance where most citizens see an urgent need for some action in the public interest.
“Following Christ,” General Conference, October 2024
His guidance for us is simple:
As followers of Christ, we teach and testify of Jesus Christ, our Perfect Role Model. So let us follow Him by forgoing contention. As we pursue our preferred policies in public actions, let us qualify for His blessings by using the language and methods of peacemakers. In our families and other personal relationships, let us avoid what is harsh and hateful. Let us seek to be holy, like our Savior.
“Following Christ,” General Conference, October 2024
Today, I will avoid contention. In all of my interactions with other people, I will look for common ground, acknowledge differences with respect for the other person’s point of view, and strive to accomplish worthy goals in harmony with others.
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