Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing.
James 3:10
My [brothers and sisters], these things ought not so to be.
James wants us to watch our words. He tells us so early in his epistle: “If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain” (James 1:26).
Later in the epistle, he delivers an extended sermon on this topic, comparing our words to the helm of a ship, to a flame, and to a fountain. (See James 3:4-6, 11-12.) In each instance the message is the same: Words might seem harmless and ephemeral, but they are surprisingly powerful and durable and can inflict far-reaching damage if we are not careful.
James recognizes how hard it is to discipline our tongues. “Every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea,” he writes, “but the tongue can no man tame” (James 3:7-8). He particularly laments the fact that the same mouth which creates words of praise and beauty can on other occasions be crude and cruel. As Elder Jeffrey R. Holland added:
The voice that bears profound testimony, utters fervent prayer, and sings the hymns of Zion can be the same voice that berates and criticizes, embarrasses and demeans, inflicts pain and destroys the spirit of oneself and of others in the process. “Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing,” James grieves. “My brethren [and sisters], these things ought not so to be.”
“The Tongue of Angels,” General Conference, April 2007
Then Elder Holland adds, “Is this something we could all work on just a little? Is this an area in which we could each try to be a little more like a ‘perfect’ man or woman?”
King Benjamin warned his people to watch their thoughts, their words, and their deeds. (See Mosiah 4:30.) Alma warned us that “our words will condemn us” (Alma 12:14). Nephi promises us that when we are baptized by fire and by the Holy Ghost, we will “speak with a new tongue, yea, even with the tongue of angels” (2 Nephi 31:13-14; see also 2 Nephi 32:2).
So how can we bring this “unruly” part of our body into submission? (See James 3:8.) Elder Holland suggested that we begin with our thoughts. “Negative speaking so often flows from negative thinking,” he said, “including about ourselves” (“The Tongue of Angels,” General Conference, April 2007). So if we train ourselves to think more positively, our words will naturally be more positive.
Second, we need to learn to pause before saying something that could be problematic. Just as we sometimes delay sending an email, we can also pause before speaking to be sure of what we really want to say. For me, the key words are, “I probably shouldn’t say this, but…” Whenever I find myself using that phrase, I really shouldn’t say what comes next.
Third, bridling our tongue doesn’t just mean restraining it. It also means steering it in the right direction. We ought to look for productive and encouraging things to say, and not to miss opportunities to use our tongues to do good.
Today, I will bridle my tongue. I will channel my thoughts in positive directions, so that positive words come naturally. I will stop myself when I’m about to say something I may later regret. And I will be quick to offer words that are uplifting and helpful to the people around me.
Very difficult ability to achieve. What about expressing truths that are maybe blasphemy or unacceptable to others in a group and yet very acceptable and needed by others in the group?
Withholding our sincere and true feelings and honest thoughts can lead to dire consequences and results .
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this topic!
I agree with you that learning to control our tongue is not easy. James himself says, “The tongue can no man tame,” which sounds pretty discouraging!
But James doesn’t want us to give up. We may never be perfect at it, but with God’s help, we can certainly improve over time.
I get your point that tailoring your message to an audience is hard, particularly when you’re speaking to a group of people.
Honesty is essential, but obviously it’s not always helpful to say everything we’re thinking, particularly when we’re angry or frustrated. We certainly want to avoid saying things that we will later regret.
Not everything we say will be well-received, and that doesn’t mean we’ve done something wrong. But with practice, we can learn to deliver even challenging messages in a more productive and uplifting way.
I hope some of those thoughts are useful to you. Have a great day!