His Father Observed the Saying

Joseph shared two dreams with his family. Both ended with the family bowing down to him, which didn’t go over well. His brothers asked, “Shalt thou indeed reign over us?” and even his father, Jacob, rebuked him (Genesis 37:8, 10). But after that initial reaction, their responses diverged:

And his brethren envied him; but his father observed the saying.

Genesis 37:11

I read that verse this way: his brothers allowed the hurt to metastasize into bitterness, while his father reflected on the event and tried to understand it better.

Jacob’s response reminds me of Jesus’s mother Mary. When Jesus was only twelve years old, they lost Him during a visit to Jerusalem. After a frantic search, they found Him in the temple, calmly discussing the scriptures with people much older that He. Like Jacob, she initially reacted with frustration: “Son, why hast thou thus dealt with us? behold, thy father and I have sought thee sorrowing” (Luke 2:48). But after they returned home, Luke tells us, “His mother kept all these sayings in her heart” (Luke 2:51). The fear and frustration were over, and now she sought for understanding.

During the Savior’s visit to the Americas, He asked for the children to come forward. He took them one by one, blessed them, and prayed for them. Then He said to the multitude, “Behold your little ones” (3 Nephi 17:23). Elder M. Russell Ballard pointed out that this instruction has broad implications for all parents: “We should embrace them with our eyes and with our hearts; we should see and appreciate them for who they really are: spirit children of our Heavenly Father, with divine attributes” (“Great Shall Be the Peace of Thy Children,” Ensign, April 2004).

Surely that includes thinking about the things they say, even when those things hurt or seem wrong. Just like Jacob and Mary, we would be wise to observe and ponder with questions like: Why did my daughter say that? What could be happening in her life that would motivate a comment like that? What can I do to support her through whatever she is experiencing right now?

Today, I will observe the sayings of my children. I will think about the things they say, particularly the things that are hard to hear. I will strive to understand them better, so that I can be a better father.