Civility

Nehor was executed for enforcing his beliefs by the sword. But after his death, many people followed his example, “preaching false doctrines … for the sake of riches and honor” (Alma 1:16). Nonbelievers began to persecute church members, “and afflict them with all manner of words” (Alma 1:20).

Church members were urged not to reciprocate:

Now there was a strict law among the people of the church, that there should not any man, belonging to the church, arise and persecute those that did not belong to the church, and that there should be no persecution among themselves.

Alma 1:21

Some people didn’t follow this guidance. They fought to defend the church, they became contentious, their hearts were hardened, and they ended up leaving the church themselves. (See Alma 1:22-24.) But those who remained were steadfast, “and they bore with patience the persecution which was heaped upon them” (Alma 1:25).

Note that church members were not muzzled. They spoke out forcefully against a proposal which would have eliminated their freedom to worship. (See Alma 2:2-5.) But they did so without “persecuting” those who believed differently. Presumably, they didn’t engage in name-calling, vilification of their opponents, or any form of physical violence, at least until their opponents, who refused to accept “the voice of the people,” raised an army and attempted an insurrection. (See Alma 2:6-10.)

President Dallin H. Oaks has provided us with specific advice about the civility disciples of Jesus Christ must demonstrate. He said we should:

1. “Love all people.”
2. “Be good listeners.”
3. “Show genuine concern for their sincere beliefs.”
4. “Though we may disagree, we should not be disagreeable.
5. “Our stands and communications on controversial topics should not be contentious.”
6. “We should be wise in explaining and pursuing our positions and in exercising our influence.”
7. “When our positions do not prevail, we should accept unfavorable results graciously and practice civility with our adversaries.”
8. “In any event, we should be persons of goodwill toward all, rejecting persecution of any kind, including persecution based on race, ethnicity, religious belief or nonbelief, and differences in sexual orientation.”

(See “Loving Others and Living with Differences,” General Conference, October 2014.)

I’m particularly focused on #5 from this list. I have found that it’s often in the phrasing. I can make an assertion in a way that invites others to find common ground with me, or I can use language which is divisive and incendiary. The latter might be tempting, particularly when I’m upset, but it’s unlikely to end well. I sometimes need to remind myself to tone down the rhetoric and avoid framing my positions in adversarial language.

Today, I will practice civility. I will find ways to engage with others respectfully and constructively, even when I disagree with their positions. I will remember that followers of Christ are under obligation to be peacemakers and contention-calmers.