By Me or by My Word

How long do you want your marriage to last? If your answer is “forever,” how are you going to accomplish that?

As humans, we’re really good at building temporary things. Some of our contraptions fall apart almost immediately. With a little care (and compliance with local building codes), we might create things that last years. On rare occasions, people have created things that lasted centuries. But I don’t want my marriage to last centuries. I want it to last forever.

There’s only one Being in the universe who can actually build eternal things. As the Lord affirmed to Joseph Smith:

Everything that is in the world, whether it be ordained of men, by thrones, or principalities, or powers, or things of name, whatsoever they may be, that are not by me or by my word, saith the Lord, shall be thrown down, and shall not remain after men are dead, neither in nor after the resurrection, saith the Lord your God.

For whatsoever things remain are by me; and whatsoever things are not by me shall be shaken and destroyed.

Doctrine and Covenants 132:13-14; see also Colossians 1:16; 2:15; Romans 8:38-39.

Eternal marriages are built by the eternal God.

In the Garden of Eden, God brought Adam and Eve together, declaring them “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Speaking of this event, Jesus warned, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:6). Marriage is not a man-made thing. We didn’t invent it, and we don’t get to redefine it, not if we want it to fulfill its God-given purpose.

The Book of Mormon prophet Jacob rebuked his people for becoming too casual with their marriage covenants, rationalizing away God’s commandments in order to justify sinful behavior. (See Jacob 2:27-30.) “Ye have broken the hearts of your tender wives,” he lamented, “and lost the confidence of your children, … and the sobbings of their hearts ascend up to God against you” (Jacob 2:35). He contrasted those strained relationships with their enemies, the Lamanites, whose marriages were strong because “they have not forgotten the commandment of the Lord” (Jacob 3:5).

The statement “Marriage is ordained of God” (Doctrine and Covenants 49:15) has global significance, but it is also personal. God is willing to help each of us set our relationships in order. Successful marriages are “founded upon [His] teachings,” implementing such principles as “faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities” (“The Family—A Proclamation to the World“).

Paraphrasing His teachings from the Last Supper, the Savior taught Joseph Smith, “No man shall come unto the Father but by me or by my word, which is my law” (Doctrine and Covenants 132:12; compare John 14:6, 23). When we enter the marriage covenant as He established it, and when we live gospel principles within the marriage, we can build strong and durable relationships with His help.

Today, I will seek God’s help as I strive to strengthen my marriage. I will remember that He alone can create eternal things, and I will strive to build our relationship on His foundation so that our marriage will be “by Him and by His word.”