“What Is That to Thee?”

John ends his gospel with a cryptic story. His fellow disciple Peter asks the resurrected Savior a question about John’s future: “What shall this man do?” Understanding the implications of the question, Jesus responds, “If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee? follow thou me” (John 21:21-22).

It’s a curious account, especially since the narrator knows the answer to Peter’s question but withholds it from us. He even tantalizes us, by relating that those who heard the conversation, the other disciples, assumed from what they had heard that John would never die. But, he reminds us, Jesus didn’t say, “He won’t die.” He simply said, “If…” (See John 21:23.)

Not long after this conversation, Jesus had a similar exchange with the twelve disciples He had chosen in the Americas. As He ended His ministry among them, He asked each of them to make a request. Nine of the twelve asked to live “unto the age of a man,” and then to “speedily come unto [Him] in [His] kingdom” (3 Nephi 28:2). But the other three had a different request, one that seemed so impertinent that they didn’t dare say it out loud. Jesus responded to their unspoken entreaty:

Behold, I know your thoughts, and ye have desired the thing which John, my beloved, who was with me in my ministry, before that I was lifted up by the Jews, desired of me.

Therefore, more blessed are ye, for ye shall never taste of death; but ye shall live to behold all the doings of the Father unto the children of men, even until all things shall be fulfilled according to the will of the Father, when I shall come in my glory with the powers of heaven. …

For ye have desired that ye might bring the souls of men unto me, while the world shall stand.

And for this cause ye shall have fulness of joy.

3 Nephi 28:6-7, 9-10

These three disciples were granted the same miraculous blessing which John had requested. Did John receive it too?

While Joseph Smith and Oliver Cowdery were translating the Book of Mormon, they asked God to reveal to them what had happened to John. In response, the Lord shared an expanded version of John’s story, which illustrates even more clearly the similarities between John’s experience and the three disciples. In this version of the story, after asking Peter, “What is that to thee?” the Savior adds, “He [John] desired of me that he might bring souls unto me, but thou desiredst that thou mightest speedily come unto me in my kingdom. I say unto thee, Peter, this was a good desire; but my beloved has desired that he might do more, or a greater work yet among men than what he has before done” (Doctrine and Covenants 7:4-5).

Then, the Savior offers these reassuring words to Peter:

Verily I say unto you, ye shall both have according to your desires, for ye both joy in that which ye have desired.

Doctrine and Covenants 7:8

I find this statement incredibly comforting. We all serve in different ways, and we even have different desires about how we would like to serve. The Savior takes those desires into consideration as He calls us to do different things. It’s okay for His disciples to not all be the same. We can have different personalities, different gifts, and different preferences. He wants to help us achieve our full potential, not to mimic someone else’s journey of discipleship.

I used to have a reasonably simplistic view of discipleship. As we all strive to be more like Jesus, I thought we would all become more and more alike. While that may be true in some ways, I now believe that there is room for substantial variation among disciples of Christ, each striving to emulate His character, but growing and flourishing in accordance with our unique personalities.

Why did Jesus answer Peter’s question with another question? “What is that to thee?” sounds like a rebuke. Why does it matter if John’s calling differs from yours? Why do you care if he wants to serve differently from you? You are both finding joy in your unique opportunities to serve. Isn’t that enough?

I wonder if the nine disciples felt a similar envy as they heard the extraordinary blessing pronounced upon their peers, particularly when the Savior said, “More blessed are ye.” I hope they didn’t. I think the Savior’s words to Peter apply to them as well, and to us as we strive to follow and serve Him: “Ye shall [all] have according to your desires, for ye [all] joy in that which ye have desired.”

Today, I will be grateful for the unique opportunities the Lord has given me to serve, and I will avoid comparing my discipleship with that of others. I will remember that we each have unique personalities, and that we can each find joy in our service, even as we serve in different ways.