About three and a half years after the First Vision, seventeen-year-old Joseph Smith “often felt condemned for [his] weakness and imperfections” (Joseph Smith—History 1:29). Why did he feel this way?
- He held himself to a higher standard. He wrote, “I was guilty of levity, and sometimes associated with jovial company, etc., not consistent with that character which ought to be maintained by one who was called of God as I had been” (Joseph Smith—History 1:28). He knew that “unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required” (see Luke 12:48), and he recognized that behavior which might ordinarily be harmless was not appropriate for a representative of God.
- The religious leaders in his community were constantly denouncing him: “persecuting [him], reviling [him], and speaking all manner of evil against [him]” (Joseph Smith—History 1:25). He endured “severe persecution at the hands of all classes of men, both religious and irreligious,” and was “persecuted by those who ought to have been [his] friends” (Joseph Smith—History 1:27-28). That constant barrage of criticism must have had an impact on his self-image, even though he knew it was unwarranted.
Elder Jorge M. Alvarado observed:
The common feeling of inadequacy, weakness, or even unworthiness is something with which many of us sometimes struggle. I still struggle with this; I felt it the day I was called. I have felt it many times, and I still feel it right now speaking to you. However, I have learned that I am not alone with these feelings.
“Embracing the Lord’s Gift of Repentance,” General Conference, October 2024
Elder Alvarado pointed out that Joseph Smith’s feelings of inadequacy motivated him to reach out to God in prayer, which resulted in him receiving reassurances. (See Joseph Smith—History 1:29-33.)
After Nephi’s father died, the conflict with his brothers increased. During this difficult time, he wrote, “My heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities” (2 Nephi 4:17). This sorrow led him to plead, “O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul?” (2 Nephi 4:31). Shortly after, God led him to a safer place. (See 2 Nephi 5:5.)
The Lord explained to Moroni:
If men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me.
Ether 12:27
Feelings of inadequacy or discouragement can be beneficial if they turn us toward the Source of grace. God will bless us as we reach out to Him in our weakness and in our imperfections.
Today, I will turn to God in spite of, or even because of the many ways I fall short. I will trust, like Joseph and Nephi, that God can heal me and can compensate for my deficiencies.
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