Ammon and Lamoni run into Lamoni’s father as they travel to Middoni. Lamoni excitedly tells his father about his experience learning from Ammon and being converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ. To his surprise, his father is angry: “Lamoni, thou art going to deliver these Nephites, who are sons of a liar. Behold, he robbed our fathers; and now his children are also come amongst us that they may, by their cunning and their lyings, deceive us, that they again may rob us of our property” (Alma 20:13). The anger is triggered by fear, which is fueled by a stereotype: Nephites trick us and steal from us. We can’t trust them.
Lamoni’s father commands him to kill Ammon, which he refuses to do. Filled with rage, Lamoni’s father tries to kill his own son. When Ammon defends Lamoni, the father’s rage is redirected, and he tries to kill Ammon. (See Alma 20:14-20.)
What is happening here? Who is Lamoni’s father angry with?
Here is a related story, involving a group of angry people:
The unbelieving Lamanites, stirred up by the Amalekites and Amulonites, attack the believers, even though the believers have made a vow not to defend themselves. The attackers are filled with guilt and sorrow as the expected battle turns out to be a massacre. Some are converted and join the believers. (Alma 24:23-25.) The others turn their anger to a new target: the Nephites.
They destroy the city of Ammonihah. After that, they have many battles before being driven out of the land of Zarahemla. (See Alma 25:1-3.) Their wrath is soon directed to a new target, the Amulonites, whom they begin to hunt down and kill. (See Alma 25:8.)
What is going on? Are these Lamanites angry with the believers, with the Nephites, or with the Amulonites?
I think the answer is very simple: Anger is a primal emotion, not a carefully reasoned choice. When we feel anger, we intuitively seek a target—someone to blame for our suffering, someone to do battle with, physical or psychological. If that doesn’t work, we may seek a new target in a futile attempt to make the bad feeling go away.
But it won’t go away. Converting anger into violence or contention only inflames it. Decoupling the feeling from its target may help us come to grips with the pain we feel and recognize that causing more suffering will not soothe it.
Thomas S. Monson observed:
We are all susceptible to those feelings which, if left unchecked, can lead to anger. We experience displeasure or irritation or antagonism, and if we so choose, we lose our temper and become angry with others….
May we make a conscious decision, each time such a decision must be made, to refrain from anger and to leave unsaid the harsh and hurtful things we may be tempted to say.
“School Thy Feelings, O My Brother,” General Conference, October 2009
Today, I will watch for feelings of irritation and will prevent them from escalating into anger. If my irritation becomes directed at another person, I will focus on the emotion, not the person, and will find ways to calm myself down and find peace.
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