“Never to Give an Offense”

Mormon explained the military ethics of the Nephites in these terms:

The Nephites were taught to defend themselves against their enemies, even to the shedding of blood if it were necessary; yea, and they were also taught never to give an offense, yea, and never to raise the sword except it were against an enemy, except it were to preserve their lives.

Alma 48:14

A core principle was that they should never “give an offense.” In other words, don’t pick a fight. You might need to fight to defend yourselves, but don’t attack someone else.

Easy to say, but hard to do. We all know how easy it is to give offense, and if our goal is never to offend anyone, we are in danger of never doing anything at all.

But so often, we can figure out how to frame our words and our actions in a way that is less abrasive, more respectful, more conducive to peace.

Between the time that Abraham Lincoln was elected president and his inauguration on March 4, 1861, seven states seceded from the United States of America, declaring themselves to be no longer part of the nation. As Lincoln prepared the text of his First Inaugural Address, he knew he had to make his position clear about this rebellion. In an early draft of the speech, he concluded with the following warning to the citizens of these states: “With you, and not with me, is the solemn question of ‘Shall it be peace, or a sword?”

While this statement may have been accurate, it struck an adversarial tone. After consulting with his secretary of state, William H. Seward, Lincoln replaced his final paragraph with the following beautiful expression of desire for reconciliation:

We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battle-field, and patriot grave, to every living heart and hearthstone, all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.

(See Doris Kearns Goodwin, Team of Rivals, 326.)

Today, I will strive never to give an offense. I will find ways to express love and promote unity and will avoid words and actions which provoke conflict and enmity.